Work-Life Balance or Rhythms of Life?
As someone who used to give advice on achieving work-life balance, I was mystified when I read somewhere that “balance” was a myth. What we should aim for is “rhythm”. It got me to thinking: “Have I been wrong this whole time?”
I gave this question some thought and came to the conclusion that, yes, our lives do have rhythms but for our day-to-day, minute-by-minute decisions, we must still strive for balance.
What do I mean?
Right now, I am at the point in my life where my family, specifically my children, are my primary focus. I mean, this is why I left my office job in the first place… so that I could be the one to care for them instead of hiring others to do so. So that I can be there when they walk into the front door from school, with the house smelling of fresh baked cookies. So that I can sew their Halloween costumes myself instead of buying from the store.
But that does not mean that I cannot pursue my personal interests or set up my own home business. In fact, I do and I have.
The fact is, Moms truly are juggling more balls than other human beings. Aside from being the CEOs of our home, we are also mother, significant other, volunteer, daughter, sister and friend. This is a fact no matter what rhythm or phase of life we happen to be in.
Consider this. No matter what our main preoccupation is, there are certain givens that we need to attend to at the same time. These include our spiritual lives and our physical bodies. That’s right. It doesn’t matter whether I am single, married with small children, or married with an empty nest – I need to pray and exercise and watch what I eat!
Which brings us to the problem of balance. How do we find or make time for ALL these things? Lately, I have been pouring a lot of time and effort in my home business. I have to admit, it can be more exciting than sitting on the floor with a toddler and a pile of blocks. I love all the new things I am learning about entrepreneurship and marketing – I love learning. Plus, it’s exciting when I see actual results (such as money, for one thing). Can you blame me that I have neglected vacuuming the house and cleaning the bathroom?
I have talked about using productivity tools like Getting Things Done and Zen to Done. These are terrific tools for identifying what you need to do and actually doing them. These strategies do work.
However, I have significantly cut down on using GTD because, at one point, I just felt like a robot. I told my husband, “My day is made up of going from one to-do to another.” So I cut myself some slack and decided to focus on just a few things every day (ZTD says work on ONE Most Important Task for the day, but I can’t afford to do that).
Just look at everything that we absolutely must do everyday: pray, cook meals, clean our bodies, exercise, change diapers, bathe the baby, breastfeed, sleep, pack school lunches, talk to children, attend to home business… something’s got to give!
Is it futile to strive for balance? What do you think?
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Alexis,
I will most probably be in the minority when I say that balance is a luxury only the successful can afford.
Personally, I have never been a great believer in balance. Insofar as I am concerned, balance is something you can afford when your businesses are making you enough money to take a well-deserved break.
For me, the second I embrace the notion of balance, I also automatically embrace the notion that there are times when I should not be working on my business and instead focusing on something else. Personally, I find it unacceptable – the more you work, the more money you make and, as they said in “Wall Street”, money never sleeps.
Of course, it’s important to take a break every now and again – but I really do have a problem with treating balance as a goal rather than a side effect of successful business management.